if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize