so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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