im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
