Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
