your room smells of hookers.
And success
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
