Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
