Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The power of my boobs compel you
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
