Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
