bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
