dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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