You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have feelings that need drinking.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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