Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
