I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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