I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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