god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
