You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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