yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
