i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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