This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
