I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
