quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
