Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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