found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I love having hate sex.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
