i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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