I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
