Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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