it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
foreskin is a definite game changer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
