Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
