so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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