He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
