I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
