Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
