Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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