my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
