I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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