Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
