And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
