i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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