therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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