im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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