What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
