I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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