i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
