dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
