We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize