Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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