I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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