i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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