so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
