i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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