You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
